The anonymous ones
by The Loser Lord
Summary: AU. SASUSAKU. 'Aw! Why do guys have to be so unsmooth! Sakura chan, help me' what does anonymity do? Absolutely nothing. 'Dude, completely clueless! I'll so you how a natural Hitch does this.'


**Bam! Just like that. I'll dedicate this one tooooooo: my hispanic banana, because I feel bad about disappearing and leaving her alone to fend for the world. And one of my bestest friends: Ash, because she's just a trick like that.**

**An explanation to my sudden spur of published stories: its a new year, man ;D AND I'd like to get one hundred out soon enough. Oh yes.  
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**Life is _so_ not fair for people. Particularly me.

School, home, work, home, school - seven days straight! Ah! Well, at least I have today off. Naruto, my best guy friend since forever, just called me. So I'm helping him write a letter to his 'penpal'.

"What should I say to her?! Oh, man...I hope she likes ramen." Naruto shouted as he punched random letters into his keyboard. I rolled my eyes and laid down on his bed - Batman sheets - watching him fail at this.

"Ah! Why do guys have to be so _unsmooth_?!" Naruto screamed, banging his head down onto the keyboard. His computer had funny beeping noises. "Oh crap! Help me Sakura-chan!"

"Honestly Naruto," I sigh, springing up from his bed and plopping down on the stool next to him, "do you know _anything_ at all about this chick?"

He opened his mouth, thought about it, and then shut it. "...she likes tomatoes?"

"Oh my gosh! Dude, completely _clueless_!" I shouted, standing him up and shoving him off the seat. "I'll show you how a natural _Hitch_ does this."

After reading her message, I concluded that:  
One: She was very stoic. And/or emotionless.  
Two: She was _wanted_. By almost every dude in the school.  
Three: She was mysterious, very attractive.  
Four: She went to my school, and apparently in my Chemistry class, according to her schedule.

"Mhm." I hummed, my long fingers clicking away on the much-abused keyboard. Naruto squinted as he read over what I was typing.

"Wow! That's so - "

"Girly?" I finished, wiggling my pink eyebrows at him. "I try my best to make everything fabulous." I add on dramatically, finishing up the e-mail and slapping the enter key.

"There ya go, how do you like them apples?!"

Naruto grinned and glomped me. "Only a whole lot! You're the best Sakura-chan!"

"I know Naruto, I know. Hey, what did you say her name was?"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know, its an anonymous program."

- x -

**The anonymous ones  
**by: kirei na yukki

- x -

"Oh. That's gay." I murmur to myself as I click down another message on my laptop in Chemistry. I glance around the classroom, looking for someone with a laptop and then sigh when I realize that _everyone_ has a laptop.

"Hn." I hear my lab partner grunt next to me.

"Ohayoo, Sasuke-kun!" I grin.

He's the school's _star athlete_ and heir of the all-rich-and-famous Uchiha fashion line/company. Football, basketball, tennis, track, volleyball, baseball - you name it. I've had to interview him a few times for the school paper - after a few months, we actually started to become friends - as weird as that seems.

"Ohayoo." he murmurs back, reading his screen.

I knew that in his spare time, he would go on this one self-publication site and read poetry, it helped him calm himself down. Sasuke-kun lives a very, very -

Oh! I have a new message.

It read:

_Do you want to meet up somewhere?_

I think about Naruto, knowing how impatient he is, and then I quickly responded.

_Sure! Do you want to meet up near the tennis courts after school?_

The mystery chick agreed and then I said goodbye. I quickly closed out of my box and logged into my gaia account, Sasuke-kun peeked around my shoulder to see what I was doing and I rolled my eyes.

He was always an eccentric person.

To be perfectly honest, I've had somewhat of a liking for him. Not as obsessive as the other chicks here, but I had a small - HUGE - crush on him. I've trained myself to not be so fangirlish in public, and I've done such a good job that it just seems like he's my friend.

He grunts, slightly annoyed, and then sits back in his seat.

When the bell rang for dismissal, we all left and I saw Naruto, looking anxious as ever outside the classroom. "What'd she say?!" he asked me. I was so proud of myself, that I had to pose.

"Tennis court - right now. Go!"

- x -

"I bet people think all I do is drink coffee and smoke." Tenten grumbled to me as she ground up some coffee beans. I laughed and wiped down the counter, waiting for more customers to come in.

Today's business was pretty dead; it was Tuesday after all. "Well, at least no one will come in to say so." I cheerfully said and we laughed again.

Suddenly, Sasuke-kun stomped into the restaurant, looking pissed...what else is new? And then Naruto followed a few minutes later, plopping himself onto a stool in front of me; Sasuke sat at a table nearby dejectedly looking out the window.

Crap! It was raining.

"What's up?" I asked Naruto. He huffed and banged his head down onto the counter. "She didn't come."

Shock broke through my composed mask. "What do you mean _she didn't come_?! Do you know girls would _kill_ for deep, poetry like that?! Oh, if I _ever_ find out who she is...UGH!"

I was mad. Because I'm usually right when it comes to relationships...

...and now I'm, like, not.

Wow. That's depressing.

"Yeah, as a love doctor Sakura - you're fired." Tenten joked from the kitchen. I growled and threw a tea towel through the window, smacking Tenten square in the face.

"To-chy." she articulated and brought out a cup of someone's order. "Take this to that emo kid over there."

"Be right back." I said to Naruto, who still looked extremely sad. I grabbed Sasuke's order and briskly walked up to him, almost running into Hinata, who was just entering.

"Hi Hinata!" I greeted her. She smiled shyly at me, I could see her attention was on Naruto; I now remembered that she had a crush on him! Oh, how stupid of me...

...maybe I should. Yeah, I'll do that - practice my _skills_.

"Naruto's kind of down, Hinata." I exaggerated my sorrow. "Will you please cheer him up for me? I already tried." she opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off.

"Gee, thanks Hinata! You're a pal!" with that said, I darted off to talk to Sasuke-kun.

"Here you go, Sasuke-kun!" I sang, placing his order in front of his face. He didn't respond, but I _reaaaally_ wanted to know what was up with him. I doubt he would've gotten rejected...or stood up.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. He snorted and shook his head slightly. "Looks like I'm in the same boat as the dobe." he made this statement sound like an insult...then again, knowing Sasuke-kun, it was.

"You were stood up too?" I asked surprised. WOAH! He dated?! Man, I so didn't know it. Whoever was going to go on a date with him was one lucky duck.

"Aa." he mumbled. "It...It was an online thing." he told me.

I froze in place and listened to his description of the girl: bubbly, loud and out there, down to earth, music crazed...

"One quote she told me when I was pissed at the Uchiha company was: 'Success is getting what you want - " I cut him off, suddenly feeling strange, but warm. Naruto and Hinata was happily conversing, while Tenten was chatting with her best friends Lee and Neji outside the shop.

" - but happiness is wanting what you get." I finished. His head snapped up, and he analyzed my dumbfounded expression. "It was you?" he whispered, surprised as ever.

"Technically it was; but I was filling it out for Naruto - he thought you were a _girl_." I said. We just sat there, letting this all register into our heads.

"...so, I was really talking to you." he clarified.

I pursed my lips and nodded my head. "Yup, seems like it." I sounded calm, but my heart was thumping so loudly - I'm surprised _Tenten _didn't hear it.

He nodded his head too and abruptly stood up, grabbing my hand in the process. "Let's go." he said.

"Wha - ?! Where??"

He was just so weird! I didn't get his logic...

"You skipped out on meeting me today, you are now making up for it." he announced to me. The blank expression on his face was now a smug one, a wide smirk spread across his face.

I rolled my eyes and stood, keeping his hand in mine. "Sure, why not?"

We were nearing the parking lot when I pointed out of nowhere. "Sasuke-kun! Look at that!" he looked up and I grinned; now it was time for me to -

"Mwah!" I jumped up and pecked him swiftly on his mouth, he stumbled and stared at me shocked. It was so cute - he was blushing! I shrugged and pulled his hand with me. "I felt bad about leaving you there."

He smirked and traded my hand for my waist. "You didn't know that I was waiting for _you_."

"Yeah, but you didn't know that you were waiting for _Naruto_ either."

Sasuke-kun growled and I laughed as we made our way to his car. "Well, I would've picked you anyway." he murmured. I smiled and kissed his cheek before sliding into the passenger seat.

"Me too."

-

"But you're straight right, Sasuke-kun? Like...not gay or bi?"

"Sakura?"

"This is a _serious_ question! I don't want you to leave me for a _dude_!"

_Sigh_. "Shut up, Sakura."

"Oh. Okay - you're straight then." _Giggle_.

"Oh, and Sakura?"

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"As a _Hitch_, you're fired."

_Glare. _"Yeah, and as a online love match agency member, you're not available."

_Smirk. _"That's fine with me."

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**Done.**

**One, two, three. Just like that...again. REVIEW! Oh, and read my other one shot Per Se. Reviews are love, so LOVE ME. Haha. No, but seriously.  
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